Turnabout And You'll Get Dizzy
by Skylimit
Summary: A new case for Nick! Oooh! But Phoenix now has someone monitoring his behaviour! How'd that happen I hear you ask? Read the story and find out! Please review!
1. The New Case

Disclaimer: I don't own Phoenix Wright.

You wouldn't think that anyone would be stupid enough to commit a premeditated murder in the middle a bustling city, but you'd be wrong. This person had planned everything. It was crucial to commit the murder in the middle of a crowd...it was crucial to the final plans. The person had chosen to wear a long coat and a hat to shield their eyes. As the would-be killer walked along looking for the target, a memory came back...

_"The evidence is there. I can't do anything to save you!"  
"What? You could at least try!"  
"No-one would take this trial...not unless they were suicidal."_

There he was. The target. Moving slowly into the middle of a crowd, things were prepared. 3...2...

1!

"Oh my god! What was that?"  
"Look! There's someone on the ground!"  
"Are they dead?"  
"No pulse!"  
"Call an ambulence!"

Wright and Co. Law Offices May 23rd 10:12am

Phoenix was seated in his office by the computer, with a hot drink in his hand. For the past few days he'd been suffering from a cold, much to the annoyance of Maya.

_"Gramps! Who gets a cold in May? I had so much planned!"  
"Like...a...ACHOOO!...Like what?"  
"Well, I don't know! But I COULD have had so much planned, and then what would we do?"_

Phoenix was shaken from his thoughts by a loud crashing noise in the other room. Phoenix chose to ignore it and blow his nose loudly. The crashing continued, with occasional outbursts from Maya, a male voice and some yipping sounds. Sighing, Phoenix opened the door.  
He was not expecting this!  
Maya and Detective Gumshoe were chasing after...OH GOD! Missile! The dog from Edgeworth's case that they had borrowed! Phoenix remembered only too well what happened...

"Aww, isn't he a cute dog?" Suddenly Missile started snarling, and leapt for the hot dog stand!  
"Yip yip yip yip yip yip yip yip!"  
"He...ate all the Samurai dogs!"

Gumshoe looked up and saw Phoenix.  
"Hey, pal! Don't just stand there! Help me with this dog!" Phoenix shut the door behind him and got ready to intercept the "Missile". Missile was currently attempting to eat the table, and was doing a good job of it.  
"NO! DON'T EAT THAT!" Maya exclaimed. She raced for Missile and attempted to jank him away. His jaws were sunk in to the table however.  
"What should we do?" Maya thought. "I know! We can hose him off the table!"  
"Maya, I don't think that's such a good..."  
"Hello? Is this the Fire department? Can we borrow your hose? What? It's an emergency! No! A dog is stuck to the table so...no he's not on fire. WHAT? This IS an emergency! I..." Maya hung up the phone.  
"What now?" Gumshoe asked. "Poor Missile. Doomed to be stuck to a table forever..."  
"OBJECTION!" Maya and Gumshoe turned to Phoenix.  
"Did you just say Objection?" Maya asked, giggling. Phoenix looked flustered.  
"It...it just came out...Anyway! I have an idea! Show him some food and he might go after it!"  
"Good idea, Nick!" Maya looked excited. "Go and get some food!"  
"What? Why me?"  
"It'll look bad for business if there's a dog stuck to YOUR table!"  
"But I have a cold!" As if to emphasize his point, he sneezed violently.  
"Fresh air'll do you good, pal!" Gumshoe said sagely. Phoenix grumbled and put on his coat.

Several hours later, Phoenix came back, looking worse than before.  
"Wow, pal! You don't look so good!" Gumshoe said staring at Phoenix in disbelief. "What happened?"

Flashback...

"TAKE THAT! ACHHOOO!" Phoenix sneezed as he placed a dollar on the counter.  
"Sir, it's $4.30!" The clerk said clearly annoyed that she had been sneezed on.  
"Yeah, I know! TAKE THAT!" Phoenix threw some quarters on the counter.  
"SIR! Do not throw quarters around!"  
"S...sorry. ACHHOOO! TAKE THAT!"  
"Ahhh! My eye!"

End flashback.  
"That's what took you so long?" Maya asked. Phoenix nodded. Maya burst out laughing and rolled around on the floor. Phoenix sighed and took out a hot dog, holding it up to Missile.  
"Here Missile! You want a hot dog? ACHOOO! TAKE THAT!" Phoenix threw the hot dog at Missile, causing the dog to fall to the floor.  
"NICK!" Maya exclaimed.  
"I'm sorry, I got excited!" Phoenix apologized.  
"That's it! I'm taking your badge!"  
"NOOO! MY EGO NEEDS IT!"  
"Give me the badge! NICK!"  
"TAKE THAT!"  
"OW! THE CORNERS!"  
"HOLD IT!" Phoenix and Maya looked up at Gumshoe.  
"What is it?" Maya asked, glaring at Phoenix. Just then they heard a phone ring.  
"I'll get it!" Maya raced off. Phoenix grabbed his badge and put it back in his pocket.  
"Yes?...REALLY? Of course we'll do it! Bye! NICK! We have a new case!"  
"What happened? Who's our client?"  
"I don't know, Nick! C'mon! To the detention center!" Suddenly there was a knock on the door.  
"I'll get it!" Maya raced to the door, to be greeted by a woman in her mid-thirties, with her blonde hair tied back in a bun and a clipboard.  
"Umm...who's she?" Phoenix asked.  
"Hello, I'm Patricia. I'll be following you around."  
"Umm...why?" Phoenix asked.  
"I have been informed that due to your...over-enthusiasm to your job, you have become a threat to society. I'm here to help."  
"Whhaaatttt? But I'm not..." Patricia quickly attached a metal collar to Phoenix's neck, brought out a small remote control and pushed a button. Phoenix fell to the floor.  
"Don't worry, Phoenix. You'll be fixed in no time!"

Wahhooo! Please review!


	2. A Taxi Ride and Slaps to the Head

"This is ridiculous," Phoenix grumbled. "ACHOOO! Since when did I become a threat to society?" Phoenix, Maya, Gumshoe and Patricia were all in a small taxi that was making its way to the detention center. At Phoenix's mumblings Patricia brought out her small remote control and shocked Phoenix again before smiling sweetly.

"All of your clients have told me as such." Phoenix looked at Maya confused and Maya returned the look. Gumshoe however was staring at the ground.

"Gumshoe..." Phoenix began. Gumshoe continued to stare at the ground, seemingly fascinated by the dull floor of the taxi. "Gumshoe." Still no response. Sighing, Phoenix turned to make sure that Patricia wasn't looking at him, then fell backwards when he found Patricia staring straight at him. He groaned and quickly took a quarter from his pocket. "TAKE THAT! ACHOOO! " He yelled, throwing the quarter at Gumshoe then sneezing. Gumshoe yelled in pain when it hit his eye and a second later Phoenix was yelling in pain as well from his shock collar. The taxi driver had stoped and was glaring at them. When the four of them smiled innocently at the taxi driver, he grumbled and started moving again.

"Hey, Nick! Why don't you get your driving license?" Maya asked. Patricia answered before Phoenix could.

"People with the status "threat to society" are not permitted to drive."

"I haven't been a threat to society all my life!" Phoenix said. Patricia looked at him intently for a few seconds before shocking him again. After Phoenix recovered he attempted to answer Maya's question.

"I didn't do so well on the practical test."

Flashback...

"Okay, Phoenix, now turn left here."

"TAKE THAT!" Phoenix yelled with glee as he spun the steering wheel to the left.

"You don't need to say that EVERY time to turn the steering wheel, Phoenix. Now are you going to stop at the lights or not?"

"Oh! Sorry! TAKE THAT!" Phoenix stamped on the break.

"You don't need to say that every time you break either." Phoenix turned to the examiner.

"HOLD IT! What about changing gears?"

"No." Phoenix looked mortified.

"OBJECTION!"

"You'll make a lawyer some day."

End Flashback...

"And that's how I became a lawyer!" The other passengers were looking at him as though he was a freak, so he quickly changed the subject. "I don't see why my clients would say I was a threat to society! After all, what did I ever do wrong in my trials?" Patricia smiled sweetly and shocked him. Maya interjected at this point.

"Are you going to shock him every time he asks a question?" It was clear from the look on Patricia's face that she dearly wished Maya had a shock collar as well.

"I have been informed that Mr. Wright becomes very...eccentric when he asks questions. Therefore one of my priorities is to note the number of times he asks questions and shock him every time he does." She brought out a clipboard and scribbled something down on it.

"It just doesn't seem very fair to Nick, that's all!" Maya said clearly annoyed.

"If you wish to question our methods, then you should file a formal complaint." Maya looked eager.

"Okay! You're a horrible person and you shouldn't shock people!" Patricia brought out a fresh piece of paper and scribbled something down on it.

"Thank you for your complaint. It will be registered in 30 years time." She rolled down the window and threw the piece of paper out of it.

"HEY!! YOU CAN'T DO THAT!" Patricia looked at Maya, then started writing.

"See...if...Mr. Wright's...partner...can get...shock collar...also." She muttered as she wrote.

"HEY!!"

-

After being shocked many more times, the group finally reached the detention center. They went to the visiting room, though it took a lot longer than normal as Patricia was adamant that Phoenix keep his shock collar on while the guards were insisting that he take it off. After much arguing Phoenix was allowed to take it off, and Patricia told him that the shocks would be replaced by slaps to the back of the head until the collar was back on. Phoenix at last met his client, a man who was very tall and looked like he would explode with excitement at any moment.

"Thank-goodness-you're-here!" He gabbled. Phoenix blinked at him, earning him a slap to the back of the head.

"OWW! But I didn't DO anything!" Patricia slapped him again. He winced and turned to face his client, who had ignored the head slaps.

"They-said-I-killed-him-but-I-didn't!" Phoenix turned to Maya.

"It's ANOTHER murder trial?" Maya nodded.

"It's what you always do, Nick!"

"But ANOTHER murder trial?? Come on, Maya, next time pick a boring trial for my sake, okay?" Maya nodded, though it was clear from her vacant expression that she hadn't heard a word he'd said.

"So is this another all the evidence is against you type trial?" He asked his client. The man nodded. "So who was killed?" The man shrugged. "Okay...what was the murder weapon?" The man shrugged again. "Do you know anything about this trial?" He shrugged again. At this point a guard spotted Phoenix talking to the man and pulled the man away.

"Kevin, if I've told you once I've told you a thousand times, you DON'T talk to people who aren't your visitors!!" Phoenix stood up.

"So wait, this guy isn't my client?" The guard shook his head. The prisoner he was dragging away gave him a wave before he was lost from sight. There was a few moments silence.

"So..." Phoenix began, but was cut short by a slap to the head.

"Silence is golden." Patricia stated.

"But..." SLAP.

"Silence is golden." Phoenix nodded glumly and waited for his client to appear, sneezing every so often which got him a slap to the head.


End file.
